It has come to my attention that the SJ Perelman quote I posted below might be interpreted in a chauvinist light. Born in 1904, SJ Perelman wrote at a time when sensitivity to sexual bias was not nearly so widespread. Therefore, as a progressive mad scientist, allow me to definitively state that when I assimilate humanity into my humanzee army, no one shall be spared on the basis of race, gender, creed, or religion.