---
title: ""This is CNN reporting to you live from Earth, where 102,282 innocent…"
date: 2015-11-14
source: facebook
type: Archer T. Ships updated his status.
---

# "This is CNN reporting to you live from Earth, where 102,282 innocent…

*November 14, 2015 · Facebook*

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\"This is CNN reporting to you live from Earth, where 102,282 innocent people were killed yesterday, exceeding the death toll from the Hiroshima nuclear attack by a wide margin.\
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To those of you who lost a loved one in the attacks - our hearts go out to you.\
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Responsibility was claimed just a few hours ago by the terrorist organization calling itself \"Aging\". Aging promises a similar massacre tomorrow, and every day thereafter. Analysts agree: \"Aging will not stop until all of humanity is dead.\"\
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In a recent statement, representatives from every industrialized nation on Earth assured the human race that they will do little to stop future attacks: \"Death gives our lives meaning.\" was the most common response. Religious leaders urged complacency. \"It\'s God\'s will.\" Paul Ehrlich of Stanford University commented \"Good. The earth is too populated already.\"\
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Anti-Aging forces have mounted some defenses, but they are ill-funded, and even their most optimistic fighters agree that Aging\'s daily massacres will continue for the foreseeable future.\"\
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\-- Adapted from Brienne Yudkowsky
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