---
title: "L Amber O'Hearn > But I'll also say that your beliefs are consistent..."
date: 2025-09-24
source: facebook
type: comment
context: "Archer T. Ships replied to L Amber O'Hearn's comment."
fb_link: "https://www.facebook.com/dyi/l/?l=AYNfVVVbzHHwS4L8jPDp1HgiapVv2zMn3DDgqPmRKjgKUP1WMDLgZ5dYsX1GP-oi6MRjCvCMZdy4prfdHMYZxELmUhNFLD6zTPp-jkl97nYSVe5lbt9Rc_xoIQsviZiK1JQGH1TRWZeFcCLUJBO-E5RPBsDsle_klsQlzOLj-DZTmk6t9U8STmafP8LYJz5L7umZwNucIKo&s=519"
---

# L Amber O'Hearn > But I'll also say that your beliefs are consistent...

*September 24, 2025 — Comment Archer T. Ships replied to L Amber O'Hearn's comment.*

L Amber O'Hearn > But I'll also say that your beliefs are consistent with saying that rape is (or should be) no more devastating than theft. I don't think that's the case.  Doing something unpleasant for pay is very different than being forced to do so at gunpoint. > that should be a huge clue to the impossibility of separating the self from sexual acts, I think you're suffering from typical mind fallacy.  That _you_ find the thought of having sex with someone you find unattractive highly aversive doesn't mean that _all_ women feel the same way.  Many sex workers report enjoying their profession overall (and certainly better than the alternatives available to them.) > And that doesn't even go into the real world realities of abuse and trafficking in actual sex work To the extent that coerced sex happens, I'm opposed to it, of course.  But just because coerced sex is possible doesn't mean that I think sex work conducted by willing adults should be banned.  (Coerced sex in unpaid civilian sexual relationships and marriages also occurs; that doesn't mean casual sex or marriage should be banned. ) I also think claims of abuse in sex work are highly exaggerated by people who derive power by controlling access to sex (women and religious leaders).  IMO, women slut shame "loose" women (whether paid or unpaid) because they reduce men's demand for long term committed relationships (which many women prefer). If women actually thought sex workers were victims of assault, why would they advocate for putting them in prison?   What other victims of assault do we put in prison?  IMO, women want to _punish_ sex workers, not help them. > I'm also pro monogamy, which I know you aren't and Kat is. Who said I wasn't pro-monogamy?  I think Kat's article made several good points.  I don't think I'm well suited to a polyamorous relationship as I feel jealousy easily and I want someone who wants to focus their time and energy solely  on me (and vice versa).   I also dread the endless negotiation that polyamory seems to require. However, I also don't want to be trapped in a relationship where my partner can cut me off from sex at any time, and I have no recourse except to divorce and give up my kids. If my partner decides she doesn't want to have sex with me any more, that's fine, but if she does, I don't think she can demand that I remain monogamous.  Purchasing the services of a sex worker seems like a good way to solve the problem of mismatched libido's, without risking the emotional bonds that otherwise exist.