There's an epidemic of car break-ins in San Francisco. If you have a car there, unless you garage it ($300/month), you can expect that a window will be broken out and anything of value will be stolen at least once or twice a year.
For example, my friend Ben Yu's convertible roof was slashed two weeks, a $2200 repair. Last night, someone did it again.
Ben says, "Last time I asked how to prevent this from happening, there were unfortunately no good answers."
I'm not sure any of these are "good" answers, but perhaps they'll inspire someone to come up with a good answer for Ben.
* Place a mannekin dressed to look like a homeless bum in the back.
* Severed heads in a jar:
http://www.instructables.com/id/head-in-a-jar-prank/
* Bloody handprint vinyl stickers on the interior window.
* Electrified mesh in the roof, so when they stab it, they get a shock and it takes their picture. Like this Trump sign:
http://fox13now.com/2016/09/29/electrified-trump-sign-shocks-would-be-thief/
* Use the picture to hire Russian mobsters to break their legs.
* Rent it out on Craigslist to someone who will keep it clean and safe from other homeless people. Or hire another nearby vandweller to be a security guard.
* Rig it up so that when someone breaks in, the car fills with expanding polyurethane foam.
* Hire a movie FX expert to make you a couple of realistic severed baby heads. Hang them from your rear view mirror like fuzzy dice.
* Scatter dirty hypodermic needles on the seat cushions.
* Rig up car so that it releases a cloud of methyl mercaptan whenever someone gets near.
* Hire child actor to pretend to be sexually assaulted and murdered, and play it whenever someone touches the car.
* Record Jewish, Catholic, and Chinese mom's whispering their most manipulative, guilt inducing questions, and play them whenever someone touches the car.
* Buy a vinyl wrap to protect the paint job, then scrawl violent, apocalyptic schizophrenic ramblings on every square inch of the car in sharpie. Think Dr. Bronner's meets Jeffrey Dahmer.
* Get a vinyl wrap that advertises a corpse removal and cleanup service, spider extermination, or radiation testing.
* Record Crossfitters, vegans, and libertarians expounding on their views at a party, and play the recordings whenever someone approaches the car.
* Turn it into a convertible from the Road Warrior: Fury Road.
* Spiky mat of needles affixed to the car seats. Like those pigeon discouragers you sometimes see on rooftops and awnings.
* Hire an FX expert to make it it look like fake poop is smeared all over your roof and door handles.
* Record the sounds of a cop radio for 24 hours. Play it on continuous loop in your car.
* Pay a tattoo artist to put beautiful tattoos on pigs. Then have the pigs slaughtered and their skin made into a leather rooftop. It will look like your convertible top was made of human skin.
* Hire a taxidermist to make obscene bobble-heads from roadkill.
* Hire a cop to watch your car for a month and beat the shit out of anyone who touches it.
* Rig up a bottle of fermented cat urine to spray whenever anyone comes too close to your car.
* Fentanyl laced bottle of cheap vodka on the front seat. Of course, you'll have to deal with a corpse the next day, but it will look like a heroin overdose, and you won't have to worry about break-ins by that person again.
* Salvinorin B methoxymethyl ether laced vodka. It's 10x more potent than Salvinorin A, and lasts 2-3 hours. It's also legal in California. Probably won't kill ya, but someone who experiences a 2-3 hour salvia trip in your car is not likely to try to get in again.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salvinorin_B_methoxymethyl_ether
For example, my friend Ben Yu's convertible roof was slashed two weeks, a $2200 repair. Last night, someone did it again.
Ben says, "Last time I asked how to prevent this from happening, there were unfortunately no good answers."
I'm not sure any of these are "good" answers, but perhaps they'll inspire someone to come up with a good answer for Ben.
* Place a mannekin dressed to look like a homeless bum in the back.
* Severed heads in a jar:
http://www.instructables.com/id/head-in-a-jar-prank/
* Bloody handprint vinyl stickers on the interior window.
* Electrified mesh in the roof, so when they stab it, they get a shock and it takes their picture. Like this Trump sign:
http://fox13now.com/2016/09/29/electrified-trump-sign-shocks-would-be-thief/
* Use the picture to hire Russian mobsters to break their legs.
* Rent it out on Craigslist to someone who will keep it clean and safe from other homeless people. Or hire another nearby vandweller to be a security guard.
* Rig it up so that when someone breaks in, the car fills with expanding polyurethane foam.
* Hire a movie FX expert to make you a couple of realistic severed baby heads. Hang them from your rear view mirror like fuzzy dice.
* Scatter dirty hypodermic needles on the seat cushions.
* Rig up car so that it releases a cloud of methyl mercaptan whenever someone gets near.
* Hire child actor to pretend to be sexually assaulted and murdered, and play it whenever someone touches the car.
* Record Jewish, Catholic, and Chinese mom's whispering their most manipulative, guilt inducing questions, and play them whenever someone touches the car.
* Buy a vinyl wrap to protect the paint job, then scrawl violent, apocalyptic schizophrenic ramblings on every square inch of the car in sharpie. Think Dr. Bronner's meets Jeffrey Dahmer.
* Get a vinyl wrap that advertises a corpse removal and cleanup service, spider extermination, or radiation testing.
* Record Crossfitters, vegans, and libertarians expounding on their views at a party, and play the recordings whenever someone approaches the car.
* Turn it into a convertible from the Road Warrior: Fury Road.
* Spiky mat of needles affixed to the car seats. Like those pigeon discouragers you sometimes see on rooftops and awnings.
* Hire an FX expert to make it it look like fake poop is smeared all over your roof and door handles.
* Record the sounds of a cop radio for 24 hours. Play it on continuous loop in your car.
* Pay a tattoo artist to put beautiful tattoos on pigs. Then have the pigs slaughtered and their skin made into a leather rooftop. It will look like your convertible top was made of human skin.
* Hire a taxidermist to make obscene bobble-heads from roadkill.
* Hire a cop to watch your car for a month and beat the shit out of anyone who touches it.
* Rig up a bottle of fermented cat urine to spray whenever anyone comes too close to your car.
* Fentanyl laced bottle of cheap vodka on the front seat. Of course, you'll have to deal with a corpse the next day, but it will look like a heroin overdose, and you won't have to worry about break-ins by that person again.
* Salvinorin B methoxymethyl ether laced vodka. It's 10x more potent than Salvinorin A, and lasts 2-3 hours. It's also legal in California. Probably won't kill ya, but someone who experiences a 2-3 hour salvia trip in your car is not likely to try to get in again.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salvinorin_B_methoxymethyl_ether